All for Austin
by MidnightSunB2ST
Summary: You can be so oblivious sometimes. It didn't matter to me of how you hated my appearance, how you seemed to have forget our past together. It's okay though, because I still give you my all. Everything I own, even me, it's all for you.
1. Chapter 1

All For You

Chapter 1

"Austin!" Ally ran towards him with excitement, careful not dropping the package of fur in her arms. "Look! Look! Look! Guess what my dad finally let me have? Pets! Isn't she adorable?" She shoved the little brown puppy in to his face, causing him to back up and hide away in Dez's shoulders, grimacing a little. The tiny terrier had medium, chocolate brown hair that stuck out a bit, barely revealing her dark eyes and nose. It's tongue, the color of bubblegum, was panting in and out playfully. "She's Trish's Christmas present to me! Isn't she cute?" Ally kept pushing the dog closer and closer to Austin, causing him to feel slightly claustrophobic.

"Why the heck did you pick a brown one?" He muttered in a rather mocking tone, causing her to feel dumb. "The blond ones are cuter." He pushed the small animal away by the nose and then wiped his hand on his jeans, trying to get rid of dog germs.

"Well Trish kept on complaining that I should've gotten the blond one, but it didn't catch my attention." She held the brown puppy up to where both noses were and nuzzled it. "Although it was cute, the brown one was amazing. It was recently in a car crash where it's whole family died. This one was the only survivor. Can you believe that? A little cutie like her survived a major accident!"

Her male counterpart shrugged. "I've heard more severe cases."

"She must've been blessed by God!"

"Don't be stupid Ally. It's just a dog," he retorted, rolling his eyes at the girl and her pet, just mocking her with his gaze. How childish could she be? For her to just squeal at the thought of having a slobbering mutt in her household. Surely she would regret it later on when it starts eating her homework or something. And we all thought she was a perfectionist.

"Um, speaking of Christmas, do you want to hang out at Sonic Boom for a bit?" Ally asked, a blush slowly creeping up to her cheeks just as he was about to walk away, done with silently complaining about her new … thing. "We've never hung out that much in a while and there are some present under the tree we set up."

He looked back, gazing at her large and hopeful eyes. She looked like those cute four year olds with her holding on to her terrier and it almost killed him to decline her offer, especially the cold and harsh way he did. "Presents? From who?"

She hesitated to answer, but heaved a heavy sigh. "... Me."

"Just you?"

She nodded, not looking up from the chocolate puppy.

"Then it can wait right?" He gave her his sarcastic smile. The ones that he always gives to the annoying fan girls when they wouldn't shut up and leave him alone. Ally knew that look too well -well- everybody did, considering that it was _the _Austin Moon. Internet Sensation. "I don't think that I need to use all that energy just to come and get one small present from _you. _Right Ally?"

"Well actually..." She seemed uneasy. "I have five presents for you."

"Five? For me? I thought you said you were the only one who brought presents."

"I was."

He chuckled bitterly. "It can still wait." He turned and started to walk away, knowing that he couldn't face her when saying the next words. "I'm not going to miss spending time with Dez and the others at his house just because you want me to open your presents. What are they? A bunch of pancakes and a few foam spitters of myself? Psh, I get enough of that from the fans!"

She froze, hurt slowly creeping up to her face. Small droplets of tears crept down her cheeks quietly, not that he noticed them since he was already off and running over to the Christmas party. His words ran in her head the rest of the day while she would walk on for miles and miles aimlessly through the crosswalks and streets, not bothering to answer the numerous phone calls and texts, asking her about why she wasn't at the party. That year, Ally Dawson didn't take the rare opportunity (for her) to have a party on Christmas.

Austin walked down the street, his eyes searching for the Melody Diner. He's been enjoying his day so far, playing pranks with Dez and performing at the beach. He was looking for a specific blond, but, o his dismay, he ended up face to face with the annoying rat: Ally.

"Austin!" She exclaimed, a surprised smile etched on her face. "Do you want to hang out? You seem busy."

Austin gracefully moved away from her, now to her side. He had to make up a lie. For all he knew, he didn't want to be hanging out with a childish brat when he had more important things to do. "I'm tired."

"Well how about tomorrow?" She suggested. "We haven't hung around since you debuted and-"

"I'm busy tomorrow. Me and Dez are hanging out with your boyfriend at, uh, where are we going again?"

"My _boyfriend_?"

"Yeah, what was his name again? That Dall fella? Dallen, was it?"

"Dallas," she corrected him, annoyance written all over her face. It was true that he had a crush on her, but that doesn't automatically mean that they both had a thing with each other.

"Yeah, him!"

Ally stopped. She knew that even if he wasn't doing anything tomorrow, the last thing he would do was hang out with her. Why would he anyway when he's in love with Melody Diner's number one employee, Cassidy? And it was because of her feelings for him that she didn't agree to his feelings. Sure, she liked him back, but she was a loyal friend to Ally, hence not accepting his past confessions. Maybe she would've dated him if she never met Ally, but she cared too much for her friend to even attempt dating him and losing her trust.

Yes, Ally knew that he resented her. Even though she begging Cassidy to accept Austin's heart. Even though she tried to convince him that he was better off without the blond anyway. Even though she tried making him realize that she had feelings for him that were more true and sincere than Cassidy's, Austin would never like her back, even if he wasn't in love with Cassidy.

But she didn't give up. She couldn't. Ever since she first saw him messing around in her dad's store a few years before, Austin had been her best friend. There were so many memories that they had made and so many things that she learned from him. He was the ray of sunshine that stopped her from shying away from songwriting. He was the silver lining that had brought her so far in her music career. He was the smile tugging at her lips when her tears fell when she was frustrated at learning how to dance.

And it was all because of his crush on Cassidy and debut that he denied their whole friendship afterwards. He could ignore her as if she didn't exist, and avoid her as if she carried the plague. He could forget their days together, but she cannot. Ally Dawson cannot, will not, forget the one friend that pulled her together when she was slipping so far apart. Ally remembers. Ally feels everything, and, if Austin can reciprocate the past feelings, if he couldn't feel those emotions, she would feel it for them.

She won't give up.

For his birthday party, he had not invited her (though he invited everyone one else including Cassidy), but she came anyways. The second she appeared, a growing frown was upon his face. Ally was wearing a red plaid shirt with a denim shirt over it, a brown belt around her wait. She wore a denim skirt and brown boots, knowing that he loved plaid and denim. She carried a basket and one hand and a box of homemade chocolate chip pancakes on the other. The basket contained a new pair of Nike's, the most recent guitar that came out, a bottle full of his favorite maple syrup, a box of cinnamon sticks, a deck of cards, a cool cell phone cover of cartoon pancakes, and a limited edition of horror movies, all wrapped in clear plastic and tied with a red ribbon. It was everything that Austin told Dez and Trish he wanted for his birthday. Some bought him an a guitar. Some bought him cinnamon sticks, but Ally bought him everything he wanted. Every. Single Thing.

Still, his reaction was icy cold. "Ally, this is a birthday party, not an Easter event. Why the heck would you bring a basket?"

Her heart hurt at his comment, like a needle striking every corner of it, but her smile didn't falter.

"Sorry, Austin." She laughed to lighten the mood, but failed due to his dark growl. "I just thought it would look nicer than cramming it all in to a box."

"Well thanks for trying," he rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"Do you like it?" She asked excitedly.

"It's fine," he responded, tossing it roughly to the corner of the gift table.

It wasn't long before Austin dragged Ally out because they were going to watch horror movies, bringing up the well known fact that she hated them. That was true, but Dallas disliked them as well and didn't get dragged out of the room. She knew it was an excuse for her to go home.

When she got home, she brushed past the living room where her dad was, ignoring questions about why she returned home so early and locked herself in her room. That night, she skipped dinner and missed her dad's goodnight due to crying and refusing to unlock the door.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Austin rested his head on Dez's shoulder on the drive home from the hospital, feeling like he didn't have the strength to smile. He came from another check up and blood renewal. He had a heart condition that developed when he was still inside his mother's womb. Growing up, he could never exert too much energy on anything. If he did, he had to be hospitalized for days. That's why his parents were, at first, against Austin's dream to become a star. Every day, he would practice for hours and hours, weakening and wearing out his heart.

Luckily, his family was well off, so they allowed him to continue reaching his dreams while going monthly for check ups at the hospital. He managed to maintain average health conditions while debuting. Once he was a star, celebrity, and heartthrob of all the girls in America (some in Canada), many learned about his condition and many offered to give blood to him. Unfortunately, he could only accept the blood of his type, thus canceling many of the offers that his fans willingly gave him.

However, as more popular celebs like One Direction and Super Junior caught hold of the limelight, the number of blood donations decreased, leaving Austin to be in a slightly weaker condition. However, there was always enough blood to get him. No more. No less. Just enough.

"Wow, Austin. You have such loyal fans," Dez exclaimed while munching on some birthday cake (don't know where he got it. Better to leave it a mystery). "They take care of you so well. Even giving up their red juice for you." _Red juice? Oh, he means blood... Why didn't he just say blood instead of red juice? And why juice? Why not syrup or liquid or...stuff?_

Austin smiled anyway, remembering when he received news on how many people lined up to donate their blood for them. In return, he had dog tag necklaces that said "Austin Moon's Savior and Proud of It". He also made extra for those who remained anonymous, asking doctors to send them to whoever didn't show up to the gathering.

As Austin's health decreased, he kept a cheerful smile in front of the media and fibbed to his fans, assuring the world that he was fine and that his freedom increased since childhood. He didn't want fans to kept losing their blood when all he did was gain and gain. Especially since he didn't mean much to them. They didn't mean that much to him either. They only donated to him because he was a celebrity. That's all there was to it. He wasn't worth the hassle of losing blood.

"Let's drop by Melody Diner," Dez suggested as he directed the driver to the front of the diner. He smiled at his best friend, using his shoulder as a pillow.

"You just want to see Trish sing about the chicken pot pie huh?" Dallas sneered, folding his arms as he did so.

"T-that's not t-true!" Trish was hired again at the Melody Diner, and Dez could stop staring at the short Latino last time she was growled the song. Some might call it a crush, but Austin knows, Dez is just amazed at how Trish could keep a straight frown on her face while reciting such a peppy song.

Austin laughed at his clown. It hurt his head, but he didn't mind. He was ecstatic about his check up. The doctor said that they found a heart that matched his DNA. Finally Austin could get rid of his old weak heart and have a normally functioning one. He would finally be free. He wouldn't get tired so easily and would be able to build a better stamina, all thanks to the new heart implanted on him next week.

He was grateful to the one who donated the heart, someone who remained hidden from him. He made another necklace for the donor, carving a heart on it. It was to replace the heart they donated to him and to promise that he will take care of their heart. Even if the person donating had no choice since they was going to probably die anyway, even if they weren't his fan, he was still grateful of the deed that this person was willing to accomplish.

Austin was grateful. He asked one of the doctors to make the donor put it on before they pass away, since he wasn't allowed to do it himself. The person would remember the sincere gratitude from Austin even if they didn't have much time left.

And now, to top things off, he would be able to share the great news with his best friends. With Trish and his dad and mom. With Cassidy.

"Oh my god! That's great!" Trish burst out, leaping in to Austin's arms. He was still dizzy from his check up, but that didn't stop him from embracing his Latino friend back, grateful for her worry and care.

The rest of his friends and relatives that he told to meet congratulated him with hugs and pats on the back.

"Great news Austin!"

"Finally you'll be at your best!"

"You'll be more exciting than me from now on right?"

"I'm so happy for you!"

His mom started to tear up, finally being able to breathe from the recent struggle in the past.

He felt grateful that he got to share this moment with all of his closest friends and family. He felt the warmth and care radiating from their very presence as they squeezed them tight. There was relief in the air, and ease and happiness replacing all the worst feelings in their hearts and minds.

However, there was something missing. The most important puzzle piece wasn't there, leaving everything to be incompete for Austin. He looked over to one of the booths and saw Cassidy, who seemed to have been comforting Ally as she brushed her hair away from her face. Ally was leaning her head on Cassidy's shoulder, a blue blanket wrapped around her body. Only her hair and part of her face was visable. He heard that Ally has became sick the last few months and her energy seemed to have been completely drained away.

But Ally didn't catch his attention. The lovely blond nursing her and whispering gentle words caught his eye. He made his way over to the when the rest went to go order some food for everyone in the store.

"Cassie.."

Her face turned to him, blond hair sweeping from her shoulders. She didn't smile when she saw him, and it made Austin worry a bit.

"Someone donated a heart to me."

"I heard, Blondie." Her expression was cold and her voice was harsh. It kind of felt like... how he treated Ally.

Ally, smiled softly at the star, her eyes drooped slightly.

"Congratulations Austin!" She tried to exclaim happily, but her voice faded off.

He nodded in thanks, waving her away before looking back at Cassidy, who gave her attention back to the sick songwriter.

He walked back, greeting with a plate of fries and burgers. Cassidy's reaction surprised him. He thought that she was going to care the most out of everyone! Why was she so glum? Did she have a bad day? But Austin just told her some great news. Wouldn't she have forgotten all of her troubles and congratulate him with a smile?

Unless...she didn't care whether he got better or not. But she did care. He knew she did. She always showed that she cared...

Until today.

Ally smiled happily as she sat across from him at the table of the little coffee shop.

"Ally? What are you doing here? Where's Cassi- you told her to text you huh?"

"Y-yes..." He stood up, about to leave, but Ally reached up to grab his wrist.

"Wait! I'm sorry for lying to you about Cassidy, but I knew that if I asked you, you would never show up. I really really wanted to talk to you. I promise that I'll be quick. Promise!"

He sat back down, a little disgusted at the previous skin-ship that Ally made. "Fine. What is it?"

"Well...I...I..." All of a sudden, she forgot what she was going to say. "It's just..."

Austin impatiently tapped his foot, glancing at his watch. "I don't have time to watch you think Ally. Hurry up."

His tone was harsh. He had forgotten why he used that tone on her. Forgotten when he did as well. He just became so angry every time he laid eyes on her. For that, he couldn't help but feel guilty, but not guilty enough to stop. Austin was already too used to treating Ally this way. To treat Ally like he did before... it would be too uncomfortable for him, unfamiliar.

"After the surgery," she finally said," you must stay happy." Her eyes were looking directly in to his. They sent electricity through his veins and up his spine, shivers popping everywhere through him.

"What?" He was confused, trying to comprehend what she said. "You want me... to be happy? You wanted to meet me...just so I could be happy?"

"There's a lot of things I wanted to say, Austin," she sniffed a little," but it's hard." She looked down at the floor for a bit before facing him again. "I...love you, Austin Moon."

Her sudden confession caught him by surprise. Although he knew that Ally had a small crush on him for a while, she never voiced it. She never told him and he was grateful that she kept quiet about her feelings since he couldn't know what to say to her back. He couldn't feel the same way as her, so he couldn't be romantic and tell her that he felt the same way too.

"W-wha?"

"I love you," she repeated. "And not brother-sister way like you do with Trish. Not the way you love your parents. Not the way you love Dez and Dallas as best friends. I love you like you love Cassidy. I love you, I love you, I love you so much. I drop every single drop of pride I have left and come out clean, because I'm afraid that I might not have the chance if I don't say it now. I love you like the ocean loves the ways. I love you like the night loves the stars. Like the syrup loving pancakes. Like you loving to perform. You're a part of me Austin and, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't. So I'll just keep loving you.

Austin's jaw dropped, eyes wide open. Why was this all coming in now? Why not during their time as songwriting partners when he felt something for her too? Why not before he became so fond of Cassidy? Why not before he thought that she was an annoying pest in his life? Why?

"A-Austin?"

He realized that he stayed quiet too long.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out of surprise," but I don't love you back." It was sudden and last minute. He didn't really register what he was saying until too late.

"I know," she confirmed softly, standing up and gazing on long look at him. "I knew that a long time ago." With that she ran off, leaving Austin alone, in the cafe, stunned.

_What the...hell?_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The door opened, signaling the last guest before his surgery. Austin hoped, prayed that it would be Cassidy who came through those doors. Sadly, it wasn't her, but Trish.

"Austin~" She called in sing-song. "Are you ready for surgery?" Her loud voice caused the corners of his lips to curve upwards.

"Is anyone ready to be cut open, Trish?" He joked, laughing lightly, not realizing how she didn't find it funny at all. She giggled, but just to keep him happy. It's wasn't that she didn't find Austin to be funny. He was hilariously stupid to her (in a good way), but she had other things on her mind, more than usual, and it kept her thinking.

"You should be thanking me. I did you a favor. If I got caught, they probably would never help me if I need medical help."

"You did me a favor? What?"

"Well I.." She looked at her shoes before facing him again. "I visited your ...donor."

Austin's playful smile faded. His donor? The donor was still alive? His breathing stopped a bit. "And...?"

"I convinced her."

"..."

"To reveal her identity to you."

He nearly shot out of his bed. "Seriously? She'll let me see her?"

"N-not yet!" Trish shouted, waving her arms.

"Why?"

"She wants you to be done with the surgery first!"

"W-what? But...but she will be dead by then."

Trish hung her head and slumped her shoulders in defeat. "I know. She said that you wouldn't accept her heart... if you saw her."

"Why?"

"She doesn't think she's good enough for you."

Of course she does. He's Austin Moon. He's known all across America. He's loved and adored by many fans or all shapes and sizes. Why wouldn't the donor feel intimidated? She she thinks that she's ugly. Maybe she thinks tat he will reject her heart because of her physical appearance. Maybe because she thinks he will be disgusted of her. He understood. Though he wanted to meet her so bad, though he wanted to thank her face to face before ending her life, he couldn't. Although she was a mischievous girl, she knew her limits. Especially since it's a donor's final wish.

"So, do you still talk to Ally Dawson?" Trish's comment was so random that Austin's face twisted in confusion as soon as she asked it.

"Well yeah of course...Of course I do."

"She wanted to give me this." Trish held a piece of napkin he recognized from the hospital's cafeteria. He took it from his hands and read the only five words. "Be happy. Please take care." His confusion didn't stop. Why does she keep reminding him to be happy? He decided that it was best to question her after the surgery.

"Are you guys finally dating?"

"What? No!" To Trish's surprise, Austin went quickly in to defense mode. "She actually... became quite annoying."

Trish's face froze which worried Austin. Trish is Ally's best friend so he guessed that she might be defensive too. "Oh really?" Her voice was monotone, as if she was begging for him not to reply.

"She;s always bothering me, Seriously, half the time I have head aches and cine ub fir check ups, it's because of her. Not my symptoms."

"That-"

"She confessed her love to me yesterday."

That sparked her interest. "Oh really? And you said?"

He chuckled. "Of course I didn't return the feelings. I would never put up with someone like her. I swear to God that I would never fall in love with someone like that."

"You're so judgmental."

"You don't know Ally anymore," Austin assured her. "She's so childish. I mean, she's eighteen and yet she acts like a six year old. She can't mature and shut up some times. If only you know her the way I do, Trish. Only if you do."

The Latino laughed, but it didn't show any sincerity. It was bitter. "I forgot who I am, Austin. I'm her best friend and I still am. If you remembered her the way _I_ do, Austin."

She left soon after and Austin was put to sleep. He imagined the donor, to be as perfect- no- maybe more perfect than Cassidy.

"Thanks," he said to her as they came face to face in his dream.

She smiled softly to him and nodded her head, as if to say, "No Problem." That soft smile, those eyes and face. They all seemed so familiar. He knew where the familiarity was coming from. The tugging coming from his heart, recognizing the owner. The girl standing in front of him.

As she started to walk away, he reached out his hand, wanting, wishing, that he could yell out to her and make her come back, but something made him stop and just let her leave. He knew she had to go, but the farther she walked, the lonelier he felt. As the distance between them increased, a void was growing bigger and bigger. It felt as if his heart was burning with each step she takes away from him. It hurt. It hurt so much. And once she was finally gone, the pain stopped. He felt nothing. Emptiness. And that, by far, was the worse feeling yet.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

No one but his dad and Dez was in his room after the surgery. They had put him on a numbing medication that causes drowsiness and speech problems.

"D-dad!" It came out in a raspy whisper. He raised his arm and reached towards them, just to find that he couldn't reach out any further since the IV drip was connected to his skin.

Both visitors jerked their heads up and went to his side immediately.

"Son..." His dad began, wiping his eyes. "You're alright."

Austin smiled. "O-of c-c-course D-d-dad. D-did you t-think that I w-wouldn't m-m-make i-it?" The speech problems were starting to sink in.

His best friend shook his head and leaned away from him, his lips trembling. "N-no... It's just great to see that _you're _okay." He wanted so bad, SO BAD to give his pancake loving star a great big bear hug. He didn't know, poor guy. He didn't know since he was knocked out from the surgery.

"D-duh D-Dez. I-I'm fine. D-d-did s-something h-happen to s-someone e-else?" H-how long w-was I o-out for?" Austin panted in exhaustion. It was a lot of hard work to talk. He breathed in and out deeply, trying to restore he tiny bit of energy stored inside of him.

Dez opened his mouth to talk, but his dad covered his mouth quickly before he could, leading to muffled noises. Both eyes met and somehow communicated silently for after a minute, leaving the patient out of the silent party. His dad slowly uncovered Dez's mouth, facing the hospitalized patient.

"Nothing happened Austin," he reassured, though his voice sounded rather gloomy. Can you believe it? The great noisemaker, Dez, is sounding gloomy. That's a first. "You've been out all day and...well we're just a bit worried. That's all."

"W-where's m-mom and e-e-everyone e-else?"

"I … told them to stay at their homes. They have an...event to planned and it wasn't like you were going to...die." On the word "die", the whole room was filled with grief.

"Yeah I'll...I'll just call them now," Dez reached for his cellphone and took once last tearful glance at the star. "Just to tell them that you're awake." He walked out, leaving the two to resort to silence. Austin was tired and weary, but he knew that he was awake enough to know something was wrong. Dez seemed less fun and more worried and it was easy to see that his dad lied to him. However, he didn't think about it for too long and soon drifted back to sleep, dreaming of a dark unwelcoming sea, not wanting to pull him out.

It's has been a week now, and Austin was starting to feel better. He was still really tired and didn't perform in any concerts or shows, but he could get up and about, walking to places and making pancakes. He was getting faster than the doctor predicted and it wasn't long until he was dancing on stage, singing with his brand new heart.

However, there was something wrong. He could feel it. All of his members and Dez felt it, though only Austin could actually voice it out. His family, Dez, and all of his other friends have been awfully quiet the past week, only going out and being active to do their jobs or meet together (without Austin for a reason he wasn't so sure about. Thought it was a surprise party, but lost sight of that possibility) . His family moped around, only saying one or two sentences to each other. His friends wouldn't call or text him unless he was the first to, but it always ended after he replied once or one or two minutes after saying hello.

They never seemed to do anything, but they did do one thing. They would always tell him that they were going to Sonic Boom. When he texted them, they would say they wee going to that music store. When he called they would just announce hey were going to Sonic Boom and end the call. Even his parents, who don't take that much interest in music, declared that they were going to Sonic Boom, always coming home with a keyboard or new guitar strings. It was like going to that store was a new trend now a days. Austin didn't know what Ally or her dad did to make everyone want to go, but it always confused him when his parents would come home with bloodshot eyes and return to their room late at night.

Oh how badly he wanted to find out what was in the store, to go across and meet his friends. He wanted to tell them that he was okay, that his health was finally healthy, that he could enjoy active pleasures without wearing out to death anymore, but his parents told him not to come outside until a week later.

The most he was looking forward to was Cassidy, of course. He could already imagine it. Her blond hair and pale complexion perfectly in his head. She would smile that warm smile at him when she sees him, and he would open his arms wide for a hug. She'd run into his embrace and snuggle her head into his neck, thanking God that he was okay and that the surgery was a success.

It was weird, to be away from Cassidy for so long, painful even, but he wouldn't want to disobey his parents words and obediently stayed at home like a good puppy. He tried his best to keep busy around the house so he wouldn't get bored. He cleaned a lot, making sure that all the laundry was done and the dishes were clear. He also tried to make conversation with his friends when they came over to watch him, but all they would do is go in to a corner, exclude Austin, and just whisper amongst themselves.

This feeling was weird for him. Never did they seem so secretive, so quiet, so sad. For a time, he tried to convince himself that they were only doing what they thought was best, that they wanted him to feel at peace so he could recover faster, but, as time went on, Austin knew it wasn't the case. Though they were concerned for his health like how friends should be, they rarely talked to him. They never congratulated him on the successful surgery, but instead kept quiet about the whole thing, not wearing a relieved smile.

But the strangest thing was, almost every one of his friends and his parents, _cried._ When he first came back to his house, his parents and friends cried, embracing him tightly. When Austin went to bed, he could hear the sniffles of his parents when they came home. Trish cried when Dez scolded Austin for turning on the TV. Mindy, although she wasn't really his friend (but came because of Dez), cried when they were heating up the leftovers Austin's parents gave them to feed their son. Dallas most the most, surprisingly considering that he was the golden man. A perfect Idol image. He burst in to tears at any random moment, especially at the least expected times. When Austin came to his side and asked what was wrong, Dallas would wipe the shiny droplets away and stomp away to a corner.

This wasn't right. They should be happy for him. They should be dancing and prancing like the world was at it's golden age. They should be jumping up and down, wide grins on their faces, and shout that it's gonna be alright. If a surgery like this succeeded, this would be a swell time to be partying nonstop.

But why is everyone so sad?

"Seriously Trish? You're the only one who didn't cry when I came home for the surgery, but, here you are, crying because I only have powdered and not frosted dough nuts?"

Trish stared at Austin, her fierce and threatening eyes looking pitiful and helpless. He didn't respond, but let herself just sit and let her tears flow faster.

"Dude.." Dallas went up to Austin, trying to calm him down.

"Why are you so emotional? It's a stupid dough nut. I can get more!"

His friends started to crowd around the two, listening to the commotion that Austin created.

"And Trish, it's not just you. All of you guys are acting weird! I thought you were all worried for me, so I thought it was normal for you guys to cry, but now it's turning stupid!"

"Austin," Dallas tried again to calm him down, taking hold of his shoulders.

"What has gotten in to you all? Why are you all so gloomy? I don't care if you guys are upset or not, but at least tell me why! Don't say it's because we ran out of frosted dough nuts or because I 'm not following orders and keeping the TV turned off! Tell me the truth!"

"Austin!" Dallas tried once more, shouting. "Calm Down!

"Don't tell me to calm down! For the past week, did you know how I was feeling? I thought you guys were worried about me! But NO! You guys don't seem to care about my health! You're all too caught up crying to even tell me why-"

_Slap_. Austin's head flew to the right as the hand swept swiftly and painfully across his cheek. Dez stood before him, fuming. Austin has NEVER seen his best friend this mad at him. They were the cool dorks. Best friends for life. Dez _gave _Austin his own pants! As far as Austin knew, Dez would kill an ant, let alone his best friend. He wasn't violent, but didn't he just smack his cheek so hard that it was throbbing red right now?

"Shut up, Austin," his voice, for the first time, was cold and icy. The cheerful, weird clown of a best friend looked as if he was mad enough to kill someone, bearing a look full of disgust.

"Dez I-"

"I told you to shut up. I don't care if you're frustrated enough to destroy a pancake stack. Just. Shut. Up."

Now, Austin felt it flow, now this was the first time since the surgery that he cried. It all flowed down his red cheek slowly, as if crying because of Dez as the most unusual case he had ever encounter (which it was).

"You're a real brat, you know that? You've been having it so good. Because of your surgery, you didn't have to perform for the past few weeks, taking your time at home, sleeping whenever you want, eating whatever we have, always having some of us at home to run some errands for you. You haven't had to lift a finger. But still, you complain. You're so worried about us leaving you out of what's going on that you throw a fit. You don't understand how sad we've all been. You only think about yourself." Dez knew that he was going to regret the words that came out of his mouth, but anger as all he could feel at the moment...and sadness. So much sadness.

"I-I'm...I-I'm so sorry." He stopped crying, but the sad frown on his face didn't fade. "I just, I don't know. I'm just...Sorry."

Dez's anger diminished and left a look of empathy. Austin knew it. No matter how much anger that Dez felt towards him, he was secretly crying about something else.

"I just . . . I want to know. Why are you guys so sad? Did something happen? Are you all keeping something from me? It hurts, you know. To see you all sad. Having no one to talk to. Not knowing why you guys seem so distant from me now." Austin was now stronger, more determined. Whoever made them cry so much that caused Dez to yell at him, he swore he was going to kill.

Dez looked at the group as if to ask to inform Austin about it. They all nodded sorrowfully, giving a yes. He looked back at Austin and breathed in deeply, trying to keep his emotions from making himself burst in to tears.

"It's Ally," he simply said.

Austin's face was enough to ask without words. Had this little girl been the reason why his members were crying a lot lately? Did she do something wrong to them? Hurt them, confuse them? Had she been annoying them or saying hurtful things in the time of his absence?

Dez looked away, his tears starting to break through his resistance. Dallas, who saw this, came to his aid.

"She's..." A long pause and a deep breath. "S-she's dead, Austin." His voice shook with sadness.

At first Austin didn't understand, until it hit him. He stumbled a bit, his eyes flickered from profoundness to pain for a moment.

_She's dead, Austin._

"Ally...dead...What do you mean she's dead?" No response. "What do you mean she's _dead_?"

"She..." Dallas couldn't continue, for the vicious look in Austin's eyes struck fear in his eyes.

"She passed away while you were recovering from the surgery," Mindy answered, her eyes looked to the floor in shame.

Austin fell to a chair, unable to breathe. "What...how..."

"It was said that she had heart problems from her dad," Mindy continued, tears swelling up.

"No... No No NO! She never told me that she had heart problems. _I'm_ the one with heart problems.

"Not according to Mr. Dawson," Dallas choked out, almost no longer breathing.

"Austin, they told us her heart failed," Dez broke it so simply, as if he could no longer get tears to form anymore. The rest cried. They were crying freely.

"Ally...Ally...Ally..."He repeated her name . . . over and over and over. The word tasted so pure, so sweet, so innocent in his mouth. It tasted so full of energy. It tasted like watermelon on a summer day. It tasted like hot chocolate during Christmas. It tasted like flowers in the springtime. It tasted _alive_.

"Ally...Als...Alligator.." His heart was starting to hurt, making him collapse on to the floor. Austin knew that it was a pain that came from the inside, that only his heart tormented him with. It was a feeling that the rest of his body refused to hold, just his heart, his new yet heavy heart.

Ally Dawson was dead.

–

**Hey guys! Author here. I'm new to the whole fanfiction site so I didn't know that I had to message you guys by putting it on the same thing you write your stories on (OpenOffice, Microsoft, etc.) Anyway, Comment and subscribe or...Rate and review I guess. **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Austin was rather annoyed at his fans who were crowded around the church that Ally's funeral was held at. If it wasn't for the fact that they cared about his emotions and were "kind" enough to clear schedules for her funeral, he would've thrown a few punches for them sobbing so loud and making such a fuss. They were being completely disrespectful, even If they were just trying to relate to his loss. She deserved better than a crowd of people who didn't even know her name at her funeral. This should be the day where she was surrounded by people she loved, people she knew, people she cared about. Not strangers.

_But_, Austin thought to himself, _Am I any different?_

Memories came like whirling tides, drowning him in a pool of bittersweet thoughts and painful regrets. He thought back to how they first met, when he overheard her singing on the piano and bravely approached her, giving her his own twist on her song. He remembered how he stole the song right after, thinking only for his career at the time and not knowing that he would met a sweet best friend.

"_Come on, Ally. We could be a great team!" He assured with a smile_. Austin could still remember that baby pink blush that she wore after she agreed, so child-like and innocent.

He thought back to the time when he pretended to be a lifeguard and decided to teach Ally how to swim. She was so nervous when she almost drowned that day, and she didn't learn how to swim, but Austin wished that she acted as if she was drowning...So he could act like he knew CPR...

He thought back to when he was trying to get Ally to lke his personal interests and dragged a reluctant Ally to the comic book store.

"_Why don't you just go with Dez or Trish. They like these things more~" She complained_. He shushed her up in no time and made her sit next to him as he read to her the whole Marvel collection. It was five hours since they entered the comic book store, and Austin felt some weight on his shoulder. He looked to his right and saw her angel face, eyes closed, and chin drown. She had rested her head on him for support. He smiled lightly, allowing her to anyway. He knew that the best to do was wake her up and be mad for sleeping when he had been reading all those books for her, but something kept him away from disturbing her slumber. She looked so peaceful when she was sleeping, so adorably cute. Before he knew it, his head of blond swept down and his lips touched hers ever so slightly. He pulled back right away, immediately feeling guilt wash over him for poisoning her with his filth. Why did he do such a stupid and selfish thing? Her lips, her innocent lips, were for a man she'd really love one day, not for her best friend, who suddenly became attracted to her while she was sleeping. Was he really the type to take advantage of another when they didn't know it? Shame on him. He hoped that one day, she would kiss the man of her dreams. But then, he suddenly took back his intentions. The thought of Ally kissing another man was...unbearable. No, this was her first kiss. He took it, made it clear he claimed it. No one else can take it away, and, one day, he will kiss her again while she's unconscious. That's when he can proudly have her all himself, and himself only.

He thought back to when Cassidy overheard Dez threatening him that he would tell Ally that he had a crush on her because he was the one who made "Special brownies" for Trish. Overhearing the conversation and being the fun joker she was, she blackmailed him. For a long time, every time he saw the blond, she would make him do her a favor.

"_Buy my a smoothie or I'll tell Als."_

"_Austin, you better not talk back! I'll tell your secret if you don't buy me ice cream!"_

" _AUSTIN MOON, I SWEAR I'LL THE MEDIA IF YOU DON'T DO MY LAUNDRY!"_

He would try avoiding her every time she was near, hoping that he could find an escape route before she noticed his presence. It was ironic how the thing that made him scared of her actually caused him to like her in the end. It was her endless demands and favors that he found cute . He started to realize how pretty she was, and how kind she could be if she wasn't in need of something. He began to enjoy her company. And that was his biggest mistake.

He remembered when he had to shoot a movie for Dez and it had umbrellas, his worst fear, all around the set. He remembered how Cassidy was out of town, rocking out in L.A, so he didn't want to phone her and bother talking about a silly (well not to him) fear. He stayed up in the practice room, frantically trying to think of a plan to make himself seem brave. That's when the door opened, and little Alligator came to cheer him up. She tried her best to make him overcome his fear, even told him why she had major stage fright. Without her there, he would've practically gone mad in frustration and fear, but, thanks to her, he can now go near umbrellas without having to look up in despair that the whole thing would topple on his face.

He looked out of the church's window, saddened by the fact that these memories had been hidden in the back of his mind for so long. Why? Why had he forgotten? Why had he forgotten the nights that he couldn't sleep, and she was the first person he'd phoned? Why had he forgotten that she'd stay up and talk to him whether she was tired or not? Why had he forgotten the times where they snuck out of the dorms past curfew, doing things that they'd never regret, even when they were caught? Why had he forgotten the day he debuted, when she stayed up all night in a sleeping bag outside of a local store so she could be the first to buy his CD? Why had he forgotten all the nights that they went bowling together? Why had he forgotten how many pancakes they could eat together? Why had he forgotten all the times that their parents teased them, saying they'd be married one day? Why had he forgotten the butterflies that he felt when he hoped that his parents were right? Why had he forgotten how just the curve of her smile made his day brighter, better? Why had he forgotten her laugh, her walk, her voice, the way she walked, the way her hair seemed to flow flawlessly behind her back whenever she bounced a little? Why had he forgotten all their talks, their good times, their memories? Why had he forgotten about Ally?

Austin thought he held it pretty well. He kept himself composed when his heart ached as he walked through the church doors, reading the sign that said "Funeral in Memory of Allison Dawson." He closed his eyes tightly when he greeted the cloud watchers, knowing how important she was to them. She found all best clouds to see. It's a wonder how she had that talent that made him snore, but become excited in his dreams just by the thought of it.

He braced himself when Ally's father, her only family ever since her mom died, shook his hand and said, "Thank you for always being there for my little girl, Austin. I'm sure she died peacefully, knowing that she had someone like you to look after and care for her." Those words made him feel pathetic. He didn't deserve praise. He avoided her, spat in her face such cold icy words, and broke her heart. That didn't seem to fit the guy in her dad's description. Still, he kept himself composed on the way to the coffin.

But when he was at her coffin, looking down at her with a pink rose in his right hand, he lost it. For the first time since his father screamed at him for choosing to be a singer in his weak health, Austin _cried_. He no longer cared if there were many people watching. He couldn't keep it in anymore. He cursed himself a million times over when he looked at her face, _her beautiful face_, and saw that her eyes were closed. He studied her carefully through his blurred vision.

"How are you so beautiful even when you're not alive?" he asked her in a hushed voice, almost chokingly. Austin brushed his thumb on to her cheek and almost thought that it was a dream. That she would just wake up and be herself again, smiling and happy. However, as he stared more at her frozen face, not moving or blushing at his touch, he knew for sure it was for real.

"I'm sorry Ally," he finally apoligized. "I'm sorry for being so mean to you all these years, for being a terrible friend, for not being there for you when you were to me. I-"

His breathing was ragged, his tears coming faster.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry." He bit his knuckles, whitened from being kept in a fist for so long. "Come back," he whispered. "Come back and I promise, I'll make up for all of those times that I didn't take up your offer on hanging out with you. I'll take you out for some pickles. I won't make a lame excuse, or question about Cassidy. I'll smile when I see you like I used to, and I'll call you every night to tuck you into bed. I'll drink with you whenever you're sad, I'll cry with you if you want me too. Just, please come back. Please..."

He was sobbing terribly now. He knew that he was probably making a fool of himself in front of his members and everybody else that was in the church, but he could care less. It was his turn to say goodbye to her, to put a flower in her casket and take one last look at her. Let him make a fool out of himself. He technically _was_ a fool for treating her this way for so long anyway.

"You should have said all that when she was alive," a soft voice said barely louder than a whisper.

"He looked to his side and made eye contact with Trish, her small, sad smile made him feel a bit relieved for some reason.

"Trish, I thought-"

"That I wouldn't come? Dude I'm her best friend. Of course I would come." She placed a pretty red camellia over Ally's ear. "I'm here to say my last good byes too." There was a long pause.

"Camellias are beautiful flowers, aren't they?"

"Y-yeah they are. The red camellia...It suits her."

"They symbolize gratitude, admiration...perfection." Trish glanced at Ally's face, her eyes trying to hold back tears. "Of course it would suit her." Austin wondered how she knew that, but knowing that she's worked at a flower shop for a day, she would probably know some things about flowers. He thought for a moment about the symbolism.

_Gratitude_. There were many thing people owed Ally for. She went out of her way to do nice things for others, earning her a spot in their hearts.

_Admiration_. Along with the gratitude comes admiration for the fact that she could be so kind, as much as to put others before herself. She portrayed a certain selflessness that others could only wish they had.

_Perfection_. She was its definition.

He looked down to his pink rose, and wondered if it could surpass the Latino's choice of a flower. The symbolism of love.

Suddenly he remembered a thought that was one his mind before the surgery. "Trish..."

She tore her gaze away from the deceased girl, her brown eyes sparing him a glance.

"Remember when you told me that my donor agreed to share her identity with me?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you never really...you know...told me her name," he said nervously, playing with his fingers.

She chuckled lightly and returned her loving gaze to Ally. She leaned down to touch something in the coffin and then looked back at him. "You are pretty slow aren't you Austin?"

If his emotions weren't so clouded that day, he would've retorted back and became angry. Now wasn't the time, however, and he just wanted to lighten the mood.

"And since I am such a near-sighted person," he played along, "do you mind just telling me her name rather than letting my stupid self hunt down for it?" He smiled weakly at her.

"I won't waste my breath, Austin," she answered as she walked away. "Why do I need to tell you? You already know her name.

Austin didn't watch her leave, but he heard her words clearly, hanging on to each one. His eyes traveled down hers. She looks as if she was sleeping. _Oh, how much better life would be right now if she was only sleeping_.

"I already know her name?" he asked himself.

Then, he saw something. He looked at the thing that Trish was touching when she'd reached into Ally's coffin. Around her neck, there was a silver dog tag necklace that read "I'm a Savior of Austin Moon and I'm Proud." Even more surprising was that, at the very end of that phrase was an extra carving of a heart; the heart he added for the person who wore this bracelet to know that he would take good care of their heart, the heart that kept him alive, the heart that beat so loudly inside of him at that very minute.

He touched the bracelet tentatively, tears streaming down madly. "Ally you...you..."

"She saved your life." Austin didn't hear her come up to him, but she was always like that; lurking around quietly like a cat.

"Cassidy." It came out as a hoarse whisper.

She didn't smile at him, she hadn't for the longest time. It was then that he realized that even all of Cassidy wasn't as beautiful as a bit of Ally so he returned his gaze towards the beautiful angel laying before them.

Cassidy laid her white lily inside her casket, her heart throbbing terribly. She wanted the songwriter to smile at her with her chocolate brown eyes again. It was even worse to be standing near the one who caused so much torture for her little Ally. "So you finally figured it out?" Austin couldn't say much in his state. He only nodded.

"The others don't know about this," she continued in a cold, monotone voice, "and one of her last requests was for me to keep this secret from them. Even her father has no clue that she donated her heart for you. They all think she had a heart attack of some sort." She laughed bitterly to herself as she looked at him. "Funny, isn't it? She gave her life up to someone who completely ignored her."

He was shaking now, anger searing through him like a knife. No, he wasn't mad at Miami's Barbie girl. She was telling the truth. He was rather angry at himself. Why? Why did he start ignoring his Alligator? Why did he always think badly of her? Why did he say mean things to her? Why did he choose Cassidy over her? His knuckles whitened from his tight grip on the casket.

"I thought you were the worst guy for her," the blond continued, mourning for the girl who always asked for extra pickles with anything she ordered."You never paid much attention to her, and you always treated her as if she was pest. In everyone else's eyes, she was beautiful, a goddess. I never really understood why she chose you when Dallas was courting on her for more than a year, being much more a a friend than you. I don't know why, out of all people, she chose the one person that didn't choose her.""

"I-I choose her." He was crying hard now. Cassidy scoffed in disbelief. Some nerve this guy had.

"You say you choose her when she's not even around to hear it anymore." The words came out just as bitterly as she'd intended, maybe even a little short of it. "If you choose her now, how come you didn't choose her when she was still alive and well? Why do you choose her when she's gone? Is it because of pity? Or maybe because you're just grateful that she saved your life. Is that it?"

"That's not-"

"Just save it Blondie," she snapped, her eyes shooting through like a silver bullet. "Go deny it to someone who will believe you." She stroked Ally's hair. "You can lie to anybody," she said. "You can lie to her father, your friends, even your own parents . . . You can look at me and tell me how much you regret everything, which I hope you do . . . " Their eyes met, and Austin felt a stab of pain in his insides from the hurt and sorrow that swirled like a hurricane in her face. "But you will never be able to lie to Als. You will also never have another chance to tell her the truth. You will never have another chance to tell her anything. A single tear rolled down her cheek, and he realized that it was the first time that he's seen her cry. "She's gone. And there's nothing you can do to reverse it."

Austin reached down and brushed a few loose strands of dark hair out of Ally's eyes. _God, why are you so beautiful._ Cassidy's words kept ringing through him like an alarm, honesty and hatred in every sentence. "She has a bunch of dog tags necklaces that she begged me not to tell anyone about," the Barbie princess revealed in a much friendlier tone. "She's donated a lot of times, you know. She always became tired and dizzy whenever she'd be done giving blood, that's why she was so tired when you came to our dorm and informed us that someone offered to be your donor. She memorized your hospital schedule, and she'd push away whatever appointments and events she had planned that day just to give you blood. She even missed her own birthday."

Cassidy looked at the pickle loving friend's face, trying to find strength to go on without bursting into a waterfall of tears. "When she told me about donating the heart,I nearly collapsed. I had yelled at her, I had screamed. I'd cried so much . . . I'd even gotten on my knees and begged her to change her mind. When she didn't, I resorted to ignoring her. But eventually, I gave in. I took her out to her favorite restaurant and we ate her last meal together. Actually, we did everything together that past week, along with Dez and the group. It was a busy week, but YoonA didn't sleep very well, and she always bothered the others, asking them if they wanted to go for coffee or something. Once, Mindy even threatened to kick her out of the diner if she didn't stop blabbering. I cried a lot that week, but Als...She was strong. She smiled twice as much, she laughed twice as hard . . . she ate five times more too." A sincere laugh escaped her lips. "Probably because she knew that even Heaven didn't have this kind of food." A sad smile replaced her natural one.

She looked at him with a weary expression, no longer angry, just tired. She was too heartbroken to be upset with anybody. She said her last goodbyes to Ally, no longer having the heart to talk to Blondie, and left.

The tears had not stopped. He wanted to say something, anything, but he knew that whatever he says could not repay all of the damage he'd done. He bent down to give her a gentle kiss on her forehead. After some thought, he swept down again and touched his lips against hers. Though she'd been dead for weeks, her lips were still warm, soft.

The star failed. He'd wanted to kiss her once again, hadn't he? But this time, she wasn't only unconscious, she wasn't even alive. He apologized to her one last time, and said a prayer. He laid his rose down onto the part of her white dress that covered her chest. The flower lies where her heart would've been.

_I write this message for the girl that gave her life for me. How are you? Do you think of me from time to time? In this long night, I close my eyes again, thinking of you. That's what I've been doing now a days. The night is especially longer tonight, this night without you. I'm regretting that day I let you go, that I just broke you completely without any warmth. This Midnight I can't sleep from my thoughts of you, this night that found me again, won't let me sleep. I know that you're up there, wanting me to stay happy...but how can I? It's so hard without you. Really hard..._

_But I'll keep my word. I will take care of your heart. And, for a while, I've made a promise. It's...It's a serious promise and I'll promise that I'll fufill this promise. _

_In another life...Like how you gave your life for me I promise you... __**I'll give my all to you, Ally.**_

**The End**

**Last chapter was a little rushed, but I hope it's alright :D The last part was a little...I don't know. I was listening to sad music with some of the words and I decided to add it in. Don't know if it was a good edition.**

**Please Rate and Review. I would love your thoughts on this story. Thank you :)**


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